We’ve known for a while that the FBI and CIA monitor social media for potential threats (and definitely scoops up plenty of false positives while they’re at it), but now we know that they’re catching every ELOL (evil laugh out loud) and GAC (guilty as charged) confession you’re throwing out there.
Rather than just rely on Urban Dictionary or a Google search, the agency has compiled an 83 page list of more than 2,800 acronyms. All the hits, like ASL, LOL, YOLO, ROFL, BRB, ZOMG (“enhanced OMG,” according to the FBI) are there, but you’ll also find AMOG (alpha male of the group), DITYID (did I tell you I’m depressed?), AYFKMWTS (are you fucking kidding me with this shit—censored by the FBI, FWIW), YTP (YouTube poop), and HGH (haters gonna hate).
An intro to the document suggests that “with the advent of Twitter and other social media venues on the internet, the use of shorthand acronyms has exploded.”
“This list has about 2,800 entries you should find useful in your work or for keeping up with your children and/or grandchildren,” the document suggested. “The DI’s Intelligence Research Support Unit [ that’s IRSU to you], has put together an extensive—but far from exhaustive—list of shorthand acronyms used in Twitter and other social media venues such as instant messages, Facebook, and MySpace.”
Here are some other insane / funny ones, most of which have been literally never used on Twitter (based on a two second search):
- PMIGBOM: Put mind in gear before opening mouth
- PMFJIB: Pardon me for jumping in, but
- PMT: pre menstrual tension
- NOOB or n00b: newbie (usually derogatory)
- NFN: Normal for Norfolk (originally a derogatory term used by medical doctors in Norfolk and Norwich hospital in UK for intellectually challenged patients. Now may also mean something more endearing-like quaint)
- KIRF: Keeping it real fake
- KMT: Kiss my teeth
- JCAT: Category J (mentally unstable person)
You get the idea.
The documents were obtained through a Freedom of Information Request on MuckRock by a user named Jason Smathers—a self-professed FOI geek (an acronym oddly not on the FBI’s list). The FBI responded to his request with one of the most illegible scans of a document you’ll ever see, embedded on a CD—so maybe the agency isn’t all that up on its technology, or maybe it’s just doing its best to KTAS (keep this a secret).