As the nation embarks upon another observation of Father’s Day this weekend, I wanted to take the time to express my deepest condolences to the families that will have an empty seat at the dinner table this Sunday. My heart weeps for the millions of men that are incarcerated and unable to fulfill one of God’s highest honors and obligations. So much has transpired since my last transmission that I felt compelled to drop science from a perspective I know all too well. Sadly within each passing day there are news headlines of fathers that are charged with some of the most horrific crimes perpetrated upon their families, while others are absconded from their potential to become viable ones.
Several months ago, I was given a portrait of my father from my 91-year old aunt who has been our family’s unofficial curator since I can remember. However this pristine image of my dad was different from the copy I possessed at home. This photo was the original and surprisingly it still had the gold inlaid logo of the photographer that captured that brief moment of time in my father’s life. Underneath the surface of his composed smile and impeccable suit in the black and white portrait, I knew firsthand that my father lived a life riddled with flaws. However my unyielding desire to learn and accept love from my father required a painful process that enabled me to embrace the man who I am today.
The definition of a father depends upon the people you ask. And most often you will find a myriad of answers except from the ones that attempt to initiate the complexities of their purpose. Billions of offspring from all different ages,tax brackets, and backgrounds wander the earth bitter with contempt of the time sparsely alloted to their growth and development from the absence of their protectors. Former mates and wives struggle to balance both feminine and masculine roles, distraught over the abandonment of companionship and commitment, and bearing the burden of emotional and financial support from impetuous sperm donors.
And truly if money was the cure-all to life’s problems, then why would some of the world’s most prosperous fathers gamble away their opulence bankrupting their families inheritance? Retrospectively, as a child I have been fortunate to have grown up around many father figures I’ve once taken for granted in my ambiguous naïvety. My classmates were children of barbershop owners,drug dealers,gamblers,drug addicts,alcoholics,preachers,ex-cons, and even blue-collar dads like my own. Our neighborhood consisted of a smorgasborg of grand-fathers, step-fathers, uncles, and older cousins that were eager to teach us how to build go-carts, spend time fishing and dribbling at the local playground. Today, I am grateful to have met and known so many men that dared to become our paternal mentors despite genetic codes and court orders. I salute the ones that has managed to face their adversities and become the best dads they could become despite their ‘old man’s’ absence.
I pray for the fathers that wear our nation’s uniform that risk their lives for a war they might not return home from. I pray that God watches over the dope peddling fathers that risk their lives and freedom to feed their children in a blighted economy with meager resources. I ask to strengthen the fathers for the ones that have to work harder in a three-piece suit with lesser pay than their melanin deficient counterparts. And yes, I can honestly admit that my concern deepens as my own seeds enter their transition into adulthood right before my paternal eyes witnessing their generation of young men eradicated from their bloodline.
Somehow, I strongly believe that our Heavenly Father loves us enough to allow us earthly dad’s enough provision of grace to allow us to grow despite our shortcomings as fathers. And if our own dad’s were imperfect then why would God assign them to us in the first place? Should future generations suffer the wrath from the vortex of unfortunate circumstances sustained without consent of their right to innately and unconditionally love their fathers unadulterated?
Whatever the case may have been; we as fathers must find the value in our very best efforts and break the cycle of paternal disparity that continues to exist in our communities. We as fathers should to learn, heal, and develop our character to accomplish God’s purpose in our lives by walking our own path to achieve far greater than the ones who sired us. And despite what the media and statistical data depicts, we possess the same ambition to nurture our children because we are wired to protect and provide for with sovereignty.
So to all of you super dads out there, I would like to wish you all a Happy Father’s Day because we sure could use more of you and if no one else appreciates what you’ve done and continue to do then no one will but our Heavenly Pop’s that loves us unconditionally. And the last and most important thing that I’ve learned as a father is that it’s never too late to do what we’ve been meticulously placed on this planet to do ya dig?
~Krusher Kronkite aka Proud Papa Large
Note: This post is dedicated to the memories of Rev. Donald Nichols Sr., Richard Arnold Edwards, and James Dicks.