Speaking from a Black man’s perspective there’s nothing worse than going into the grocery store and seeing a bunch of women magazine’s with ideas, tips, or secrets on how to keep a man especially when the author is some chick that probably hasn’t had a date since the beginning of the recession. For those of you women out there that know what to do and know how to do to keep your man than congratulations and keep up the good work these tips aren’t for you, maybe your drama prone girlfriends or fellow co-workers can possibly use them.
Tip#2- Compliment Him: Many men will never tell you that he likes compliments just as much as you do and don’t be surprised if he looks at you real crazy the moment you tell him that those new jeans he bought is sure looking good on his ass.
Tip#3- Listen and Shut the Hell Up Sometimes: Hate to be blunt ladies but its true; most men will shut down if he feel that he cannot trust you with his thoughts and feelings. Some brothers will rather spend half his check in a sweaty strip club and pay a half naked woman who is willing to listen and get paid to do it.
Tip#4- Stop Bringing Up The Past: There’s nothing worse than being married or in a long term relationship for almost a decade and some change and she decides to stab you with the chest with an indiscretion from the 20th century. If you tend to gravitate to this form of mediocrity than be prepared for a love meltdown eventually.
Tip#5- Encourage Him: If a brother is trying to find a job to keep himself from hugging the block and heading back to prison the last thing he needs is for you to be selfish and ignore his plight. Being a black man is the world’s most dangerous occupation.
Tip#6- Pray Together: In a time of economic despair and spiritual unrest, prayer is the answer to life’s day to day challenges. Revealing this virtue to your man will make you priceless in his eyes. Remember “a family that prays together stays together”.
Tip #7- Be Adventurous: Don’t get all angry because your man has that secret stash of porn in the closet behind the old Nike boxes. Yes we are visual creatures and you cannot change how God wired us. Do us a favor and role-play or take “Mr. Johnson” out where you wouldn’t normally does like in a crowded train ride pressed in a corner together. (Sorry I’m putting my shit out there lol!)
Tip #8- Forgive Him: You might think by holding a grudge you are making him pay and in fact you are allowing him to feel even worse about his grievance and in the future he will stick to lying instead of being honest like you often ask him for.
Tip #9- Give Him Space: If a brother comes home from work and the first thing he does is head to the fridge to grab a beer, blunt, and your butt doesn’t mean that anything is wrong. If he likes to unwind while watching the game what harm is he causing? Why should you be the only one that requires space?
Tip #10- Don’t Worry, Be Happy: Have you ever wonder why some men are attracted to younger women? No it isn’t always about their bodies ladies, it’s because of their easy going personalities and enthusiasm. Combine that with a dash of smiles and giggles you can best believe that he is going to find her attractive. So lose the attitude before you lose your man.
The worst thing you can do is allow your friends and family to get involved in your personal matters involving your boo. Unless its domestic violence its best to keep your mouth shut because nine times out of ten there are biased because they love you, and If you go running off at the mouth there is a good chance they will give you wrong advice or your so-called trusting friend could wind up in bed smashing your dude. Real Talk Ladies!
Note: These are my opinions and mine only. I get so sick and tired of some sisters frustrated at the lack of eligible black men and want to place blame for women of other races as the culprit. Obviously there have been scores of debate about this subject and being a black man who has lived, met, and dated black women from all across the country I have heard the same sentiments. I’ve read books, attended seminar’s, and read magazine articles and I feel that my tips are as simple as it gets.I happen to be a Black man who is well educated, talented, spiritually inclined, dually employed, disease free, felony free, well-dressed, muscular, chocolate covered, child support paying, heterosexual, and a single father by choice due to the brutal relationship environment . I feel that dating outside the perimeters of our culture is an option Black men need to explore and consider. I look forward to hearing your opinions ladies.